Crossdressing

WARNING: This topic may not be suitable for all audiences. Read at your own discretion.

Crossdressing is a "vacation" from our own normal lives to dress and live as someone opposite of our birth gender. Many people misconstrue crossdressing as a concept and what it actually entails. Crossdressing has its own appeal and charm to those who take part in crossdressing. The reasons for taking part in crossdressing vary- casual crossdressing, professional crossdressing, and yes- even for sexual pleasure. No matter what, it is a lifestyle and a culture that most people either disregard, disrespect, or misunderstand. In my attempts to try to better educate my audience and to provide something useful on crossdressing and crossdressers, I offer the Internet this blog post.

Before I Begin and a Special Hello...

If you are a crossdresser or know someone who crossdresses, and if you're viewing my blog post; I'd like to welcome you to "John's Blog Space!" I hope you can enjoy this blog post here as much as I've enjoyed working on it. This is a positive place online. I am not posting this just to get some laughs or draw a reaction. This is a factual post on crossdressing from multiple perspectives. The majority of this post relates to male-to-female crossdressers (M2F crossdressers), but there are also female-to-male crossdressers (F2M crossdressers).

I have certain goals I hope to accomplish with this blog post:
• factually discuss crossdressing/transvestism.
• gain a little more understanding of crossdressing/transvestism to better service my audience.
• (maybe) gain some respect among my LGBT readers, especially the "T" part for this post.
• (maybe) meet some loyal readers who may be among the LGBT community.

I am not a crossdresser, nor have I ever done so. I am basing all of my material on things I've learned on this topic through factual proof and research as well as personal commentary.

--- Crossdressing at a Glance ---

Those who have been on "John's Blog Space" before may have read some past posts of mine that touched up on transgenderism before. Many others have seen me make mention of males wearing feminine fashions. What you are about to read here is a proper post regarding crossdressing. Because I need to continually provide quality content for this blog and to re-direct my blog traffic to more relevant posts, I present to you my post regarding crossdressing.

What some people disregard is that there is a HUGE difference between transvestism (clinical term for crossdressing) and transsexualism. A transvestite (TV) or a crossdresser (CD) is someone who temporarily lives and dresses as a member of the gender opposite of his/her birth gender. A transvestite does not want to have surgery to permanently become the person's opposite gender. A transsexual has full surgery to permanently live as and become a member of the gender opposite of one's birth gender. Could a crossdresser/transvestite consider having surgery to permanently become a member of his/her opposite gender? Sure- especially if that person feels he/she was born in the wrong body.

Some people who engage in crossdressing will spend money towards buying great clothes to help unleash their inner person. Some others even go to the level of purchase certain items like wigs, hosiery, and even health supplements to help enhance themselves in becoming crossdressers. In addition to products, there are also certain techniques crossdressers use to help them transition better. I will not discuss those tactics in this blog post, but I will make a mention things like (for M2F crossdressers) tucking- which can be an integral part in M2F crossdressers wearing body-hugging or body-conscious clothing.

Reasons for Crossdressing.

I briefly mentioned reasons why others crossdress. Here is a brief look at each:

• There are those who casually wear clothing from the other gender, and there are those who crossdress for profession. A male may choose to wear feminine clothing and completely transform himself into another person. A man named Michael (for hypothetical purposes) may have a hidden person waiting to emerge named Michelle (again- hypothetical purposes).

• There are those who professionally crossdress. Female impersonators, drag queens, and even actors/actresses dress up as members of the opposite gender to play roles, compete in contests, and other purposes in making money.

• And so I don't forget, there are those who crossdress for sexual thrills. Some people are sexually aroused either wearing clothing from the opposite gender. Such people have fetishes wearing clothes from the other gender.


Regardless, crossdressing is a very risky lifestyle that has its own rewards for those who enjoy doing so.

A Past Experience.

I probably mentioned this in my blog, but there was one time back in 2007 when I became friends with a transvestite. One time after class at my community college, I noticed a male in a Men's bathroom who had beautiful long hair. I eventually got to know him a bit. He was a male named (I try to be VERY careful giving deep details) Darrell. While being the handsome Darrell, his transvestite alter ego is Brittney. I met "Brittney" one day around campus. I was friends with this person as he was having some problems. I let Darrell know that he could chat with me if he had issues. To this day, this person is the ONLY transvestite I've ever known in person.


That concludes this look at crossdressing/transvestism. Time to move on to other material.

--- Crossdressing Misconceptions ---

Everything in life has misconceptions. Crossdressing is no different. Each bullet features a certain misconception followed by my own commentary.


• "All crossdressers are gay."
So if a male casually puts on a skirt or a dress, he is automatically considered gay? Here's a fact- males who crossdress may be straight. They may be happily married men/women as well as proud parents. You can't automatically call someone gay just because they crossdress. Certain people are only gay if you think only gay people dress up in clothes most average or what "regular" people wouldn't wear.

• "Crossdresser? Transsexual? Same thing, right?"
Uh... NO! If you read the previous section, there is a HUGE difference between transvestism/crossdressing and transsexualism. The common factor is in living as and dressing up as a member of a sex opposite of our birth gender. The biggest difference is in the desire to PERMANENTLY become a member of our opposite gender. Transsexuals are permanent members of their opposite sex; transvestites/crossdressers are part-time members of their opposite sex.

• "Transvestite/Crossdresser = Intersexed."
Being intersexed is a completely different concept. Intersexed people have both male and female chromosomes and internals. It is COMPLETELY different from someone who crossdresses or has had surgery to become a member of one's opposite gender.

• Crossdressers are "freaks."
The only way they can be real freaks is if you think of them as monsters and not as people. Fact is- crossdressers are every bit of human beings as you and I. Maybe their lifestyle is different from the norm. There are people (for example) who indulge themselves in subcultures like Goth or punk. Are they "freaks" just because they live a lifestyle vastly different from everybody else? Well, neither are crossdressers.


These are some misconceptions I came up with. Can you think of any others?

--- Crossdressing and its Reasons ---

Here now is a look at crossdressing from various perspectives. Each section is complete with my own thoughts on each bit of crossdressing.

Crossdressing: Casual.

^ from: www.sexandgender.net (best I could find) - She may not be a real woman, but this guy surely enjoys being this girl on a part-time basis.

I will define a casual crossdresser as anyone who crossdresses for reasons other than profession or sexual thrills. I am talking about the person who lives as one person, but sometimes emerges as someone of his/her opposite gender. Someone who casually crossdresses has a tendency to want to be someone else. Remember my "Michael" example? You know, the hypothetical Michael who has a female alterego (also hypothetically) named Michelle?

Someone who casually crossdresses just enjoys going out as one's gender opposite of his/her birth gender. Such people enjoy the feeling and the joy of being that other person. A male-to-female crossdresser (or M2F crossdresser) would enjoy wearing feminine garments out and about. He feels a sort of empowerment and comfort being and dressed as a female. On the other end, a female-to-male crossdresser (or F2M crossdresser) enjoys living and acting as a male while wearing masculine clothes.

A casual crossdresser simply enjoys the thrill and joy of temporarily being someone of one's gender opposite of his/her birth gender. That person is confident in his/her dress and personality that he/she is actually able to pull off being a crossdresser.

Crossdressing: Profession.

^ from: thesun.co.uk (best I could find) - Drag queens are among the most famous of those who crossdress as a profession.

Acting roles, pageants, competitions, and more... I will define a professional crossdresser as someone who crossdresses for a profession and/or for money. The most common professional crossdressers are drag queens. Drag queens are beautiful women with immense glamour and charm... only they are not real women. They even give themselves interesting and unique stage names to set themselves apart from other drag queens. Drag queens wear all sorts of clothing and accessories, even including certain intimates and parts I can't mention here. Perhaps one of the most famous YouTube crossdressers is Jessica De Leon, better known as "JessicaWhoHD." Here is a sample of JessicaWhoHD:


^ "My YouTube Story Part I - Why I Make Videos"

Want more of Jessica? To visit Jessica De Leon's YouTube channel, visit JessicaWhoHD on YouTube.


Some male actors have taken on female characters. Some examples in the realm of TV and entertainment include the likes of Robin Williams as Mrs. Doubtfire, Tyler Perry playing as Madea, Martin Lawrence as Sheneneh, and Martin Lawrence as Big Momma, among various other roles. Anyone who knows drag queens know one figure as a deity- RuPaul.

Some people dress up as fictional characters of the opposite gender. I am mostly talking about those who cosplay as certain characters of the opposite gender. For example, a genetic male may dress up for a convention or a contest as a female character he loves. Likewise, a genetic female may dress up as a male character she loves.

When you consider there are people who love crossdressing and make money doing it, you gauge how special it feels to do what you love and profit from it. This goes back to me talking about lifestyles and professions people may not necessarily like. If such personalities enjoy crossdressing and are profiting from it, who are you to argue against or tell them how to live their lives?

Crossdressing: Sexual Thrills.

It is obvious I should open this section by saying that this section may be discomforting for some members of my reading audience. So skip to the next section or read carefully.

There are some people who enjoy crossdressing for sexual pleasure. Such crossdressers enjoy crossdressing by engaging in kinky sex acts or engaging in various sexual behaviors. I want to keep my blog as world-friendly (my term for "safe for work/school") as possible, so I will not delve into any deeper details.


No matter what one's crossdressing desires are, one thing is important- the ability to return to going back to one's normal life and one's normal self. Crossdressing is a "vacation" where we become someone of our birth gender to live and dress as someone of the gender opposite of our birth. It isn't permanently being a member of a certain sex like with transsexuals.

--- Crossdressing Roadblocks ---

It is easy to be a crossdresser, right? No. There are certain obstacles that prevent or hinder most would-be crossdressers from doing or enjoying crossdressing. Here are some of the multiple roadblocks:

Inconfident About Emerging.

If you are educated in some way about transgender people, you might have heard expressions regarding "closet" transgenders. The expression regarding closet transgenders relates to those who crossdress but don't crossdress outside of home. So they mostly wear clothing from the opposite sex mostly around the house or in their bedroom. Not every crossdresser confidently leaves home dressed and living as a member of one's opposite gender. And therefore, not every crossdresser is confident enough to come out and let that inner person emerge.

Family Issues.

A male may be able to comfortably wear clothing from a female family member; but of course, certain family members may reject the notion of a male wearing female clothing. This can be an issue among family members. A crossdresser's desire to wear clothing could begin by wearing clothes from (in the case of M2F crossdressers) a male wearing clothing from female family members. Certain family members would detest of siblings or other family members crossdressing. These desires can be a roadblock for those who are crossdressing with clothing from other family members.

Romantic Issues.

This is perhaps the most damaging part of crossdressing desires. If you are a male wearing your girlfriend's/fianceé's/wife's clothes, your better half will likely be disgusted. Remember the misconception I posted about crossdressers being gay? It isn't easy for males to try to crossdress in fear of upsetting their lover or spouse. Certain relationships can fall apart thanks to things like this. Understanding lovers usually can set something up to where a crossdresser can enjoy crossdressing while still being together. A crossdresser can still enjoy being that other person while still being a good lover/spouse or even a parent.

Fear of Being/Looking Awkward.

Being passable is a quality many transgendered folk dream of. Some do not want to try crossdressing for fear of looking awkward. It takes confidence to wear such clothes and to act a certain way out and about. If it were easy to crossdress with confidence, we all would be crossdressing and love doing so!

Fear of Being Abused or Attacked.

One transgendered person's worst fear is in being abused or beaten, especially when one is unaware of someone not being born of a certain gender. While this is more prevalent among transsexuals, crossdressers could also suffer the same violent fate, especially if someone wants to be with someone else to whom is oblivious one is a transvestite or a transsexual. Not disclosing info about your gender can lead to violent consequences among those who exhibit violent behavior towards transgenders.


These are only among some of the many different roadblocks of crossdressing.

--- Final Thoughts on Crossdressing ---

Crossdressing is a misunderstood concept for many people. Throughout my entire explaining of crossdressing, never have I mentioned that it is right or wrong to crossdress. I have never criticized or attacked people who do crossdressing. All I have done through this post is discuss crossdressing on a professional and unbiased manner.

Crossdressing is a lifestyle that people will either appreciate or disapprove. It is as much worthy of like or dislike as any other lifestyle or culture. Among the many aspects of crossdressing, many people disregard or misconstrue certain aspects of crossdressers and crossdressing. Among the biggest ones is that crossdressers are not transsexuals. They are transgenders, but there is a big difference between crossdressing and transsexualism. It is also vastly misconstrued that all crossdressers are gay just because they live and dress as members of their oppposite sex. Transvestites simply take a vacation from their birth gender to live and dress as their opposite gender. And just like any vacation, any crossdresser wants to go from being one person to go back to being their own normal selves.

Taking part in crossdressing is because of certain factors ranging from casual crossdressing, to professional crossdressing, and even going to crossdressing for sexual pleasure. The reasons and pleasures vary among those who crossdress, but it has its appeal for all who take part in crossdressing.

--- Crossdressing Resources ---

I said this was a factual post on crossdressing. I never said, however, it was the definitive post on crossdressing. All of my information was based on however much I know and understand about crossdressing. I had to do some research for some extra information. Remember that this blog post is a proper post about crossdressing and not just simply wearing clothes from the other gender. It's about dressing up as and living as a member of the opposite sex here. And with these resources online, you crossdressers (or those who want to know more about crossdressing) will find various resources to help you understand or enhance your crossdressing.

If you want to learn more about crossdressing or find some various resources, I can help you right here. I've looked all of these sites and can tell you that while some may feature material that may not be suitable for all audiences, no adult sites are featured here. Each of the featured web sites are offered for educational and entertainment purposes.

Crossdressing Resources: Basic Resources.

These sites offer advice, educational content, online communities, and more for crossdressers and those wanting to know more about them. I advise that anyone looking to learn more about this and looking for more factual proof visit these links.

• Laura's Playground (Crossdresser link)
Laura's Playground is the Internet's most well-respected resource on almost anything transgender. The link (relevant to this blog post) links you to the Crossdressing resources of Laura's Playground. It is recommended you click on the link if you want to read specifically about crossdressers. If you want to read about transgender issues for youth (including crossdressing), use this link: Laura's Playground (Teens link). If you want to visit the main site, which links to information on all varieties of transgenders, use this link: Laura's Playground (main site).

• Susan's Place Transgender Resources for Transsexual/Transgender Communities (Crossdressing link)
Including both resources and an online message board, Susan's Place has many resources for transgender people. It even includes resources for crossdressers, which the above link takes you.
You may visit the main site by using this link: Susan's Place Transgender Resources for Transsexual/Transgender Communities.

• www.crossdressers.com/
A online forum devoted to crossdressing.

• Crossdresser Heaven
A website offering tips and resources for M2F crossdressers.

• Crossdressing Freedom
A website with many resources including stories, pictures, videos, advice, and more. It is run by a crossdresser who calls herself Zoe Freedom.

• UltraCrossdresser
Called "the ultimate crossdresser/transvestite guide," this site features many resources for crossdressers both new and experienced. Gain some knowledge and some insight if you are crossdressing or want to know more about crossdressing.

• A Crossdresser's Secret Garden
A resource site for crossdressers/transvestites and those who know them.

• The Gender Society
A social network and resource site devoted to transgenders (including crossdressers/transvestites).

Crossdressing Resources: Stores.

These are online stores with items for sale for those seriously into crossdressing. Be warned that some of these sites may not be comfortable for all audiences. Each site is a look at what certain online stores offer for crossdressers. However, no adult sites are featured.

• Cross-dress.com
This is one of the different sites to visit where you can get some accessories and items if you're a crossdresser.

• Crossdressing: Lingerie for Men, Men's Lace, Men's Satin & Panties
This is an online store with many items for M2F crossdressers.

• Crossdressing, Transgender, and Crossdresser Clothing and Accessories
An online store with various items for crossdressers.


I may include more links to better service my audience based on traffic or interest to this post. If you would like to suggest some sites to me that may be of interest to my readers, please contact me via E-mail. I review sites and will feature only material that I think my readers can benefit from and are not suspicious sites of any kind. Use the table at the conclusion of this post to contact me.





That concludes my blog post on crossdressing. I hope you were able to have a different understanding of crossdressers/transvestites after reading this post and checking out some of the resources I've posted. I may consider doing a related topic to this one in the future. So make sure you're subscribed and/or Following John's Blog Space. Not followed, but you love my blog? Then PLEASE subscribe to my blog!

More than ever... thank you for reading!

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Homesickness

When you feel homesick, you miss being home. You feel like being home rather than spend another day away from home. Some people are away from home mostly to handle business. These include certain jobs or school/college. Sometimes, we wish we could be at home especially when being out and about isn't very pleasing. I think about this sometimes with people like truck drivers, certain entertainers, and especially active members of the military serving away from home. Just the thought of being away from home for a long while will bring some people to a bit of sadness.

Allow me to express this point before I get to the real matter of this blog post:

If you or anyone you know have been homesick or are homesick, I hope my blog post can help you feel better with various resources and thoughts. I care about all of my visitors and want you all to feel better if you are down. Please enjoy this blog post.

--- Homesickness at a Glance ---

^ from: calonst.wordpress.com (best I could find) - Being homesick is an emotional attachment to home. The comforts of being at home can contribute to being homesick when we are away from home.

If you feel homesick, you often wonder how your friends and family are doing back home. You know you have business to attend to and take part in. Only thing is, you tend to worry about being home- where there is comfort, happiness, and where you are better connected to those you love as opposed to being totally alienated or isolated. Most people become too indulged in the comforts of home. Being too indulged makes us miss being home. Homesickness can lead to depression and anxiety. You know you are out and about because you have a job to do. However, you really feel like there are external (and even internal) influences that make you feel like you'd rather be home than work on whatever you are working on away from home. Homesickness is a feeling that can really bring anyone down.

What if you have to give up being around your lover/spouse and child(ren) due to homesickness? These things can really contribute to homesickness as well. Your compassion and love for others can make you feel like being away from them is terrible. If your job involves being away from home to provide for your family, being homesick is a deterrent because you have an occupation or an obligation that takes away from you constantly being your lover/spouse and/or your child(ren). Almost a tough reality about certain occupations.

Being homesick affects EVERYONE. Not many people can honestly deny they would rather be home rather than be out and about all the time for extended amounts of time.

--- Homesickness: Individual Cases ---

Here are some individual cases of being homesick and thoughts on each.

Homesick: Students.

When I used to be a student at Lamar University (Beaumont, TX, USA), I had a number of problems to where I missed being back home in Houston. Being depressed or feeling lonely can make you feel more and more to want to be home. Most people usually try every so often to return home or talk with friends and family back home each chance they get.

Homesick: Truck Drivers.

Truck drivers have an important job to do- go from location to location delivering goods and going around the country. I often wonder how truck drivers (especially those that go around the country) feel having to go out for a long time delivering things while not entirely feeling homesick. Good thing about this is that you are going around the country and seeing the rest of the country. Bad thing is, you sometimes wish you could be at home more to be with your family or your spouse. But again- you have a job that you take so seriously that a job seems to outweigh being with family. And if you don't make the money or complete the task, then it will be tough to provide for your family as you miss home. Various links I've found online have some truck drivers concerned about being depressed and anxious that they quit being truck drivers. Truck drivers who have been away from home for so long certainly know this feeling.

Let me share with you something I read on an online message board. Here is what one person stated online as to why he quit being a truck driver:

"...I quit because I was homesick. I had depression and anxiety and after driving for 10 hours everyday I would go to my sleeper berth and cry because I missed home."

I honestly really think about truck drivers in this respect. Their job is important, but how do they handle being away from home (especially those who are constantly out on the road)? Makes you appreciate what all truck drivers do when going around the country.

Homesick: Military.

I become even more worried about those in the military involving being homesick, and their job is even more important than the truck drivers I mentioned previously. Being in the military- especially as an active member- comes with greater risk. Some soldiers may never return home or be killed in action. But again, the desire and appeal to be home becomes an issue. I have never served in the military. However, being in the military is a serious job and a serious responsibility. You are subject to some situations and environments that can be infinitely much harsh than almost anything else you've experienced previously.

It does become a refreshing feeling when you're able to communicate with friends and family in saying that you're alright and well while actively serving abroad. Something like this can be great especially knowing you are in hostile territory or in a seemingly insane environment. One article I read online stated that the best way to handle homesick military members is to simply send them home. I even read that some soldier who get to be homesick sometimes become suicidal because of their homesickness.

JUST SOMETHING I WANT TO SAY QUICKLY: I would like to salute and honor all of the men and women serving in the various levels of the United States military. Thank you for all you do to defend our country home and abroad.


Being homesick affects many people in many ways. These were just a few examples.

--- Homesick Resources ---

Are you or someone you know homesick? I have pulled a few different resources from off the Internet to help you out. I hope you can use these resources and more to help you out:

• Homesickness is a longing to be near your sources of happiness
• Lee's Homesickness As A Military Man Reflects Today's Soldiers' Feelings
• Homesickness - kidshealth.org
• "It's My Life . Friends , Summer Camp . Homesickness" - pbskids.org

• "6 ways to deal with being homesick at college" - xatal.com
• College Student Homesickness - About.com
• Homesickness isn't really about 'home' - CNN Health

• No Need to Be Homesick – Local Trucking

• How to Deal with Homesickness at Basic Training - militaryspot.com


I hope I can find more resources for people taking on homesickness. I really want to feel like I am actually helping people rather than just post a bunch of stuff online expecting people to care.





People, this goes to show you that even when preparing blog posts on certain topics, I often feel the pain most others have in regards to a certain topic. I have felt some pain just thinking about what people go through in some of the many Life Issues and Love and Relationships topics I post about. Doing posts like these reflect the passion I have for giving out useful and important posts that people can relate to. I even wanted to cry at one point when I've read some peoples' stories online about feeling homesick or making someone homesick. If ever you question my passion and heart to post about certain topics, just know this- I do have passion and love for what I post about, even with the shakiest and most controversial or embarrassing topics. I post for the Internet; not myself.

So I hope you enjoyed this blog post. You may even offer this post to other people to maybe offer some support to them. Hope all of you who are homesick can feel better and return to normal. Thank you for reading.

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Unconditional Love

What is unconditional love? Unconditional love implies these things: "You can screw up really bad- I still love you regardless." "You can lose this game in a beat down- I still love you." "You can make a total fool out of yourself, but I still love you." Unconditional love, then, means that for any situation we get in for better or for worse, we are still loved by those who care about us. Some people feel they have to constantly compete for love from a certain party or parties. Some of us don't feel loved enough by others to say we're loved unconditionally. Do we TRULY feel loved enough to where even when we commit our greatest monkeyshines, we are still loved by the ones we feel loved the most by?

--- More On Unconditional Love ---

Let me set the mood with a picture:


^ from: www.suxiaolan.net - You are loved by others, but are you loved unconditionally by others?


People who don't feel unconditionally loved still feel like they have to constantly compete for love rather than know they are loved and cared for. These are moments when we feel like more can be done to repair (in the minds of those unconditionally loved) any sort of broken link between one person and another.

If you don't feel unconditionally loved by someone whose respect you are trying to win (even if it is from your parents, a family member, your friends, your lover, your peers, etc.), then you'll have to find some sort of way to let that person (or those persons) know just how much winning their trust means to you. You can NOT let someone whom you love and respect regard you any longer as dead weight or excess baggage. You are a human being seeking to be loved and appreciated. If you feel down in the eyes of someone who you truly care about, it is best to share your true feelings rather than hold it all in and feel broken down on the inside. Then, that person has to understand where you're coming from and make an effort to better respect you. It all comes down to an effort to where both sides come together as one and that everyone can feel happy and carefree together. Allow me to quote:

"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."

-David Viscott, from "How to Live with Another Person," 1974

...and who does not want to feel warmth and love, especially unconditionally? Not every day is a sunny day- metaphorically speaking. However, not every day is cloudy and rainy either. Love is protection from our own personal stormy days. Unconditional love is protection from any and all elements- knowing we are protected and cared for even in the worst of circumstances at every moment.





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Sibling Rivalries

Having children and building a family is always something special. That is... until there is a feeling of sibling rivalries developing. Imagine feeling like one child is favored over another. It becomes an issue of favoritism when one child feels less respected than the other (or another). Depending on how unloved a certain sibling feels, he/she may feel totally disregarded or not regarded enough.

Outside of sibling rivalries, how must the parents take it? Unconditional, undivided love is all a child could ever want from his/her parents. Who wants to feel left behind in a family? Who wants to feel like another sibling is better than another? In reality, when certain siblings feel like they aren't loved as much, a disconnect is formed. That disconnect can lead to the sibling being even more depressed and unwanted.

Allow me to set the mood of this blog post with a picture:


^ from: savvydaddy.com - Who's the better sibling? All siblings are, at least in the minds of parents who successfully disallow sibling rivalries to fester.

Love Among Siblings.

I think the important thing to remember is that unless certain parents or relatives are too negligent, siblings are loved. After all, giving birth to and raising children are some of the great joys of being a parent and having a family. The real problem can lie with some sort of internal struggle among siblings. One has to be able to try and keep everyone together without a huge rift opening that may never be repaired. A bond between family members is stronger than almost any bond with a friend. So a separation or divide among siblings can be devastating.

Favoritism.

Feeling like one child is favored over another can lead to favoritism. Someone better regarded than another child can have the less-favored child feeling terrible. It is almost as if one sibling just exists while another is better treated and regarded than another. The feeling can be horrible because one child would feel like, "what more do I have to do to be better-favored among my parent(s)?" It can a feeling of not being good enough among the family. Feeling like you are not the favorite child in the family can lead to isolation. Unless some sort of resolution or consolation is provided, more extreme cases can lead to violence, injury, or even death. Sibling rivalries and favoritism can both be suppressed before things REALLY get out of hand.

--- Sibling Rivalries: Resources ---

One way to easily tear up a family is to have a divide among siblings. It is okay for siblings to have their differences, but it should never come to any serious point to where they feel more like bitter enemies rather than family members. The issue can be worse if there are no parents or any other facilitator to help resolve and break up an internal struggle among siblings. Have you ever found yourself in a family situation where you are less favored over another sibling? Do you feel like you have to constantly compete for love and respect from your parents?

If you need some online resources to help you deal with sibling rivalries, I have found the following websites that may give you some guidance and some direction. Have a look:

• Sibling Rivalry - KidsHealth
• Sibling Rivalry: Your Child: University of Michigan Health System
• Adult Sibling Rivalry | Psychology Today
• Handling Sibling Rivalry - Parent Tips
• It's My Life . Family . Sibling Rivalry . You vs. Them | PBS Kids GO!


More may be added in future edits.





This topic is one of many topics posted here on John's Blog Space. I am committed to try to offer quality material to all of you across a variety of topics. I encourage you to Follow and Subscribe if this topic has been to your liking. That is, if you haven't Followed or Subscribed already. So if you enjoy John's Blog Space (JBS), Follow JBS and/or even Subscribe to John's Blog Space! Thank you for reading!

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Unrequited Love

You love someone, but that person doesn't love you back. This is the concept of unrequited love. Or if "unrequited" is hard to remember, simply call it one-sided love. Unrequited love could lead to one trying harder to win the heart of someone whom he/she really loves despite the other person's unwillingness to commit to that person. This is either one person feeling hugely attracted to someone while the other is not as attracted as the other, or it may be two sides that just don't really understand how much one loves the other person. Regardless of whatever kind of relationship you're in, there will be a point where your best efforts to try to win someone's love (or win back someone's love) can all be a losing cause where there is unrequited love involved.

PERSONAL NOTE:

I would like to thank a loyal reader who suggested that I do a topic on unrequited love. I will do my best to talk about this topic in that reader's honor.

--- Unrequited Love ---

^ from: www.ladyzona.com (best picture I could find to represent this post) - Unrequited love- where one's affection for another isn't met with the same level of affection from the other person.

And I quote (taken from Wikipedia):

"Some say that one-sided love is better than none, but like half a loaf of bread, it is likely to grow hard and moldy sooner."

-Eric Berne, Sex in Human Loving (Penguin 1970) p. 130

If you want a fantasy example of unrequited love, some of you may be fans of Pepe Le Pew from the Looney Tunes cartoons. This skunk sees this female cat and pursues her to fall in love with the cat. Of course, this cat has some sort of white streak on her that makes her look like a skunk, but she's a cat. Despite Pepe Le Pew's advances to try to win the cat's heart, the cat keeps drawing Pepe Le Pew away.

Now I feel old. You made me remember watching Looney Tunes. Thanks a bunch! -_-


The main point is that unrequited love can simply be thought of as one-sided love. You love someone, but the other person doesn't share the same loving interest. This leads to trying to do almost anything to win the affection of someone in trying to get the other person to share the same level of devotion and affection as you have for someone.

--- Aspects of Unrequited Love ---

Here are some of the aspects of unrequited love:

Does He/She Really Know?

Imagine a single male for a moment. There is one female for whom he most desires to be with and love for all eternity. There is a problem for this single male. It isn't that the female is taken; but more for the fact that she simply doesn't love him. So basically, a guy could love a girl so much, but the girl either couldn't care less or doesn't want to be with him. But... does she REALLY know how much he wants to be with her?

That's the point of this topic of unrequited love- does the other person know how much he/she really wants to be with someone? This is sometimes what I think about certain people whom matter to me- what would I say, if I could say anything at all, to show how much I love and respect someone? As an example, I sometimes say to people that I'm glad I'm friends with them. I don't need a reason or anything to say something like that. The guy who wants the girl so bad has these thoughts as to why he loves her so much. It all means nothing, though, if the other person couldn't care about your level of devotion and love for someone.

So what's next?

He/She Just is Just Not Into You.

Maybe the one you love most just isn't into you. Do you try harder to win that person's love by performing certain actions, or do you just move on and try to have better luck with someone else? The former doesn't apply if you think that one person whose affection you're trying to win is the ONLY one for you. The latter applies if you think you can do better with someone else than try to waste your time and energy trying to be with someone who simply doesn't love you as much (or at all). It may even be possible for you to change up your image and personality somewhat to better your chances of getting with someone. Even still, this won't guarantee you will win the love of someone.

--- Unrequited Love if Together ---

Maybe unrequited love can occur while two lovers are together. There may be a case where one side isn't as faithful to his/her lover/spouse as the other person. How does one deal?

--- Final Thoughts ---

When it comes to showing your love for someone, it is important for both sides to come together to show unity and happiness. How can two loving partners be together or stay together if one person's bond isn't as strong as the other's bond? One should be able to profess his/her love for someone. If the target of one's affection doesn't approve or acknowledge these professions, then it either means there's no chance of the two coming together, or that someone just doesn't have enough in him/her to love someone else.

Do you move on or try harder to win that person's affection? If you try harder and still fall short, then just let that person go. Get that person out of your life and find someone else instead. Don't run the risk of getting on that person's bad side by continually trying to win the love of someone who clearly doesn't love you at all. It's just not going to work. So it's best to move on if your attempts fall short.

Always remember- "I love you" takes seconds to say, but true love takes a lifetime to show and prove. Don't commit to love if you're not in it for the long haul. That goes for you and your partner.

--- Unrequited Love Resources ---

These may help you out if you want to know more about this kind of love (more may be added in future posts):

• How to Handle the Pain of Unrequited Love
• Unrequited Love and Lust: When The One You Want Doesn’t Want You Back
• How to Deal With Unrequited Love: 9 Steps (WikiHow)

More may be added in future edits. These are just a start for now.




Please note that when I do these "Love and Relationships" posts, unlike a lot of my other personal sort of material... most of these are based on ideas and thoughts rather than personal experience. I've never done any dating or anything like that. I had to actually do some reading online to discuss unrequited love because I want to make the most professional style blog posts on certain topics. Professionalism and understanding of something are more important to me than making any sort of posts laden with taboo. You expended your energy to search for something useful, and the least I can do is help make your troubles worth your while. So I hope you enjoyed this post of mine. Also note that topics like this can involve MANY kinds of loving relationships. My "Love and Relationships" topics involve heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual relationships.

Do you perhaps have your own take on unrequited love? Don't just read my posts- share your own ideas and commentary based on what you just read! Thank you for reading!

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In Happier Times...

When current times are rough, we often like to reflect back to when times were happier and better for us. Depending on the memories, the urge to want to relive those great days and times. In happier times, we've lived better and had more fun than today. Some of us can only wish we could relive those times when it didn't take much to have a smile on your face and to feel free. How do you handle yourself in these situations?

This blog post is dedicated to being down on ourselves in today's times, wishing today's times were better compared to in the past.

--- In Happier Times... ---

Having memories of a better life vary from person to person. These happier memories help you to remember when times were better for you. Just about all of us have some sort of happy memories from our past. If we wanted to, we could relive those times and enjoy what all is now lost forever in time. I know there are times I've had where I've felt better and that life was just that extra bit happier for me.

In Happier Times: A Demonstration.

NOTE: The following story is provided as a demonstration. It is not meant to resemble any real people or situations. Any relation between the characters and/or the stories thereof are completely coincidental.

Let me provide a demonstration of current rough times and remembering happier times.

Imagine two people, Matt and Jennifer. The two have known and loved each other since high school. They have a baby boy together named Jason. They live in a very nice neighborhood. That was some five years ago. Now? Matt and Jennifer are still together, but they are separated. Jennifer takes care of their baby boy while Matt moved back to his mother's house. Jason feels terrified that his parents still argue. This worrying has caused Jason to not do so well in school. Everything seems depressing with no hope in sight. Jennifer got behind on paying bills, and she's now facing financial hardships.

At some point, all three people in this demonstration can somewhat recall when times were happier and worries are at a minimum. The trouble here is that current times are rough. Just the thought of simpler and happier times are enough to possibly bring everyone together again in happiness. The parties involved will have to come together through one sort of common bond to where everyone can be happy and positive again. How that is accomplished depends entirely on factors, both internal and external to help bring everyone together again happily.


Today's doom and gloom for these three people makes it that much more special to remember when times were happier. However, considering the respective situations these three face, is there possibly a way to save this family? Remembering what you've had before things turned sour is a good indication that times have gotten rough, and it may take a great deal of acts and actions to help return happiness to the lives of those teetering and struggling in life. Various triggers help set the tone for wanting to relive happier times.

Reminiscent Triggers.

So what can trigger these emotions of reflecting to when times were happier? Among other factors:

• friendship with others
• a better love life
• a better time with family
• status in work/school
• an overall personal mood
• economic, governmental, social, religious conditions at that time
• friends and family alive at that time

All of us will have some sort of memories where we wish times were better than what we have now. Depending on those memories, we either don't mind if we could relive certain happy experiences, or we would hate our lives right now only because certain past experiences are much better than the experiences we have at present.

Can Certain Past Times Be Relived?

It may be possible to set up situations that help us to relive happier times. Think of older people for a moment. Imagine high school and college reunion ceremonies for people who are at least 40 years old. Obviously, such people can't properly relive when they were much younger. There were too many more factors back in the past compared to today's postmodern society. You can, however, bring back certain times when it was these people who roamed the campus and lived their lives at a certain location.

Some past times require a certain location be available. Imagine if you (as a male) kissed your girlfriend for the first time at a fast food restaurant way back when. Imagine that this is where you had the best hamburgers and food you've ever eaten. And imagine that today... that restaurant is now demolished and replaced either with housing or is just a big empty lot. In a time like this, it is near impossible to enjoy these memories again because that specific place is no longer there.

Depending on a number of factors, it is possible to bring back past positive memories. These may be the memories that help us to feel better and improve our quality of life in this day and age even if for only one day.

--- Inspiration for This Blog Post ---

I am always inspired in everything I post, so let me share my inspiration with you.

You may have read my blog post called "Disappointment." This was where I intimately shared some of the things I've been disappointed with. I called 2011 a year of disappointment for me because of a number of factors internally and externally that have led me to not feel as happy or as confident about this year compared to in past times.

So often times, I feel times were better for me when life was simpler and when I was more youthful. I sometimes think of when I was around people whom I've respected and enjoyed being around and who adored my own presence. I can recall when certain songs on the radio made me happy. I can remember being in a time where I've enjoyed myself more then than I do now. Mainstream culture were different, times were different, and I was in a happier mood. Today, I get so caught up with the doom and gloom most people have that I wish I could reverse the misfortunes of myself and others if I had the power to do so.

I sometimes reflect on a lot of things then compared to now. The most common comparison people may make relate to music. A lot of people will say that music culture was much more fun then compared to now, where many people think music is too much about manufacturing music and styles rather than letting the truly unique talents shine. Think of sports fans who wish their favorite athletes/teams would return to their past winning ways (like my Houston Astros) or championship-wining ways (like my Houston Rockets). Those who currently have a tough time trying to keep a bond between friends and family often wish they could be together forever and for longer like back in the day.

I guess I can even relate to more people (talking about fashion now) where more people are into dark styles more than something expressive and happy. There was once a piece I read in Teen Vogue magazine called "Bringing Pretty Back," where there are girls who just want to look pretty again rather than wear dark, edgy, tough, gloomy fashions.

IN CASE YOU'RE INTERESTED:
If you want to read my [recently updated] blog post in response to this topic, open this link in another window/tab or just click on it to go to that post: "Binging Pretty Back" here on John's Blog Space. This post MIGHT be brought back with a new version, so you are reading what could be deleted and replaced.

(ADDED: April 25, 2012) Would you like to see a video I did on this topic? If so, see my YouTube video: "In Happier Times" - YouTube.


Almost everyone who has positive memories of some kind will have some idea of what they wish they can relive. So is the inspiration to this post.





Are today's times so disparaging that reflecting on a happier past is the way to go? How do certain past positive experiences impact you if today's times are not as positive? How do you rebound and deal in these times? Your comments are welcome. Thank you for reading!

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Reuniting With Old Friends

Reuniting with an old friend. Getting the gang back together. Getting the crew back together. Getting the band back together. There is nothing better than reconnecting with old friends and former classmates. Perhaps the most interesting aspect of doing so is in how people can still honor and remember you even years down the road. Personally, this is one of the reasons why I'm on Myspace and Facebook- trying to revisit as many past people from my life. Of course, there's the saying about how past friends are forgotten for a reason. I usually try not to forget anyone. That is, unless there's someone in my past who I WANT to forget.

Any time you re-connect with a past friend or former classmate, memories follow. You begin to remember what somebody was like then compared to now. Many of my past friends have been married and/or had children since I last saw them. Some even look radically different from when I've known them back then. It is always interesting to see where people are today compared to when you known them in the past. Some people, unfortunately, may have passed away or have been killed. That is a time when you honor a past friend who is deceased.

People who still remember you and care about you even today are people you will remember for the rest of your life. This means that you've touched someone in a way that they have the utmost respect for you even for a long time to come. As long as they don't do you wrong or that you don't do them wrong, you have some friends for life. Simply reuniting with past friends is a great feeling. Imagine being happy to see someone from your past who still remembers and cares about you. It just feels great knowing someone still remembers and respects you, even if not right away.





How do you feel about reuniting with old friends? Feel free to share comments below. Thank you for reading! If you want to hear and see my commentary on reuniting with old friends, please check out my video:

"Reuniting With Old Friends" on JohnMarineTube (my YouTube channel)

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Coping With Death

Coping with death is one of the most troublesome and trying situations one can endure. Depending upon whom in your life has passed away or been killed, losing someone can feel like either missing a friend or having your heart ripped out of your chest. It is never an easy transition to live without whomever has passed away for some reason. The thought of death alone is terrible in itself. When you lose someone in your life, you will undergo a vast array of emotions. Even people whom have pets that have died or been killed feels about as bad as losing one of your parents. Death is something eventual. We can't run away from it. How one is able to cope with death, though, is especially troubling. This blog post is one I hope can help people feel better through a tough time.

This blog post will NOT be easy to read considering the subject matter. So please read at your own discretion.

Coping With Death of Friends, Lovers, and Spouses.

If a friend was killed, you want justice against whomever killed your friend. One of my High School alums was killed back in 2006. He was a great friend of mine back in High School. You obviously want justice over whomever slain your loved ones. The feeling is exaggerated when he/she is serving in active military duty. It will obviously be a terrible moment if the individual is killed in the line of duty.

Coping With Death of Famous People.

If a celebrity or an athlete dies, it is a chance to remember that famous person for what all he/she has done. I sometimes believe in the statement that "death comes in threes." Because of this, it was VERY horrible when we lost Michael Jackson, the beautiful (Texas own) Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon all in the same day. I am a fan of motor racing. As a fan, I know how dangerous motorsports can be. That's why I STILL cannot believe we've lost some great racing personalities whom have contributed to motorsport in some way. Here are examples of motorsports figures I still miss to this day:

--- [Some] Motorsports Figures I Miss to This Day ---
• Dale Earnhardt Sr.
• Colin McRae (his talent made me care about the World Rally Championship)
• Peter Brock (wouldn't have cared about Australian V8 Supercars without him)
• Aryton Senna
• Greg Moore (sure love to see how much further in his racing career he'd go)
• Tom Walkinshaw (I'd love to know more about him)
• Bob Wollek (I'd love to know more about him as well)

I sometimes feel like I got into motorsports a bit too late to know what most racing personalities were like in their day and what they brought to racing.

Coping With Suicide.

Worse than dying or being killed is taking your own life. This is where people feel like life is going nowhere for them, so they feel their only option in life is to kill themselves. Almost as if such people give up on life to where they feel they have no better choice than to kill themselves than live another day with whatever pain they are enduring. The most brutal thing about dealing with someone who committed suicide is that there is usually no warning given. Someone may overdose, stab himself/herself, shoot himself/herself, intentionally crash his/her car at unsafe speeds in unsafe locations, drown... this can be extremely uncomfortable to even consider happening. The impact of someone who commits suicide is VERY disturbing. Almost as if loved ones couldn't be there in someone's most hurtful time.

Coping With Death of Children.

There is nothing I hate more than when a child or some youth dies or is killed. The feeling is unfortunate if the child dies from a certain condition or whatever. The feeling is of anger and a call for justice when a child is killed thanks to some heartless person or from the negligence of a disrespectful parent. To me, nothing is more disheartening than having a child robbed of his/her chances to grow up to be someone very special.

Family members passing away or being killed is equally troubling. Trying to move on without a certain member of the family is especially tough. How big of a loss it is depends on whom has died and how much that person means to the family. You can move on without certain family members, but as I've mentioned, it is extremely tough.

Coping With Death Financially.

When it comes to having a proper burial for a lost one, the impact of losing someone even goes into finances. I remember one time my mom and I were driving home after going to a restaurant. Some teen girl was holding up a sign looking for donations to pay for funeral expenses. It was a moment that really made me feel terribly sorry for her. Having to pay for funeral expenses can be just as painful as losing someone to begin with.

A Quick Section About Funerals.

A thing we don't usually think about is that funerals are times where we celebrate and honor one's life. Often times, we think of funerals as absolutely sad occasions because someone passes away or is killed. Think of when famous people die. We usually look back at legendary careers and remember them for what they brought to our lives. I remember when the great Marvin Zindler died from pancreatic cancer, I thought back to all he's done for the city of Houston and in helping many people with many things. The thought of losing someone is heartbreaking, but remembering what all a person has done to contribute to the world is something that needs not go unnoticed. Obviously after a funeral, then begins the tough process of moving on with your life without that loved individual. But still... it is always best to look back in the life of a loved one. This feeling alone can be enough to temporarily suppress the horror of losing someone special in your life.





In conclusion, you never know what you have until it's gone. If you are reading this blog post and have recently endured or experienced losing a loved one, I want to send you my deepest condolences. I want to offer my deepest thoughts and prayers to you, the family, the friends, and all whom have known and loved the deceased person. Coping with death is not easy, but it has to be done. Part of life is in about meeting wonderful people while also (hopefully) meeting other great people who matter in your life. The hole left behind by one person's passing will be tough to fill, but that's life.

I hope all of you are well and safe. I appreciate you reading this blog post. My best wishes are with all of you if you are experiencing one of these troubling times. I hate to provide such a discomforting topic, but I hope I can make you (or someone else) feel better with my words and insight. I may do another blog post regarding one element of this topic in the future, so stay tuned to John's Blog Space for that. It wasn't easy reading this, but you made it. Thank you for reading.

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Something Missing

Sometimes in life, we think about things we wish we had or still have. Even us materialistic folk wish there were things we actually have. Having something missing can range from something for happiness and comfort all the way to things we feel would make our lives better. Casually, it can be getting a certain car, some clothes, a video/computer game, and things like that. Personally and emotionally, it can be things like love from friends and family, a happier quality of life, better health, a college degree... or even a loving companion. These missing items in our lives can be like adding batteries to an electronic device or a heart to a living organism. Without most of these things, we feel we can no longer function. Or at least, function to where we can be and remain happy.

WARNING: Some content expressed in this blog post may not be suitable or comfortable for all audiences.

--- Something Missing: Your Life ---

^ from: longlifequotes.net - Is there something missing in your life?

Let's continue on with this topic with a few talking points...

When Does Something Missing Hurt Us?

When you feel like whatever is missing in your life is taking you over, you begin to question and work towards getting whatever it is that is missing in your life. One shouldn't have something missing really take over his/her life to where life can't be enjoyed any longer, though. Think about people who have things most other people wished they have. For example- a home, a computer, Internet access... all the things I basically need for blogging.

I try not to let certain things get to me for things I don't have. When I deal with certain haters on YouTube, I get comments about stuff like getting a girlfriend rather than play around with stuff. Yes- I've never dated any girl in my life. Companionship with a special someone is one thing missing from my life, but do you see me complaining or desperate to find love? Pressure is often a factor for wanting certain things that are missing from your life. You begin to feel like you REALLY need something to feel happy and avoid falling into disarray.

WHAT is Missing in Your Life?

Having something missing in your life means you either have had it or that it can be obtained. Maybe it is something you often see others have while you're trying to get that something for yourself. Something missing can't be a far-fetched concept, like a cure for AIDS or world peace for instance. Think about how far you've come in your life. Is there something that can make you feel better that you don't have? Is it something for comfort, or something that can really make your quality of life better? Think about these things, and then think about what it will take to make life better for you.

• If it is love with a special someone that is missing in your life, then be sure to open yourself up more to people. Perhaps someone will come along and make you feel complete. This applies to many of you seeking a certain relationship. If you fancy an opposite sex partner, then feel free to open yourself up more towards someone who you feel will make you happiest. Same goes if you prefer a same-sex relationship or a bisexual relationship.

• If something missing is something like love from your friends or family, then I can only suggest trying to better work with the one(s) you feel a weak link with. TRY to work things out especially if it involves a family member who you don't think you have a total bond with. After all, that's family. If you don't feel a good connection with family, then it may hurt you deeper into time.

• If something missing in your life is something like a degree, a car, a good-paying job, or anything like that; you'll have to work hard to get whatever it is you most desire. It may even require you to change certain habits if need be.

• If something missing in your life is the company of a friend or loved one who is dead or was killed, then it is certainly tough to try to live any longer without that person's company. I even sometimes wonder what friends and family of mine whom are no longer with us would think of me and how far I've come. I even imagine how much more different life would be if they were still around. All the tears and praying isn't going to bring certain people back to life, so all you can do is just move on in loving memory of fallen companions.


The pressure of having that certain something also depends on patience. I will admit- I can be very impatient on things often times. I am 28 years old as of this post. However, I sometimes feel like I'm not getting any younger though I still have a lot of my life ahead of me. Carefully weigh and recognize your needs and wants. Once you realize your needs and wants, then start thinking about what you feel is missing from your life and how to obtain whatever it is you desire most.

--- Something Missing: Someone Else's Life ---

Do you think there is something missing in someone else's life? For example, imagine two teenage girls. I will give them the hypothetical names of "Jenny" and "Kayla." Pretend they are best friends, but Jenny becomes increasingly concerned for Kayla. For as much as Jenny loves being friends with Kayla, Jenny thinks something that would make Kayla happier is if she gets her own house and a better car rather than be in an apartment driving a poor-quality used car.

These are times when you think about others and how you can make their lives better. On the other hand, there are people who are happy with what they have, and so if you try to do something better for them, they may or may not appreciate your concern or offerings. You kind of take a chance trying to find certain things for certain people. Why do you even bother though? Simple- there are people you care about. I care about all of my friends and everyone who has mattered even 0.01% for my own well being.

If you care as to so much to help others feel happy about their own lives, then try to work to give them what they feel is missing from their lives. It is best to think about what others could use to make their own lives better before expending your energy and time (and maybe even money) trying to help better someone else's life.




So what do you think is missing from your life? How much does that/those thing(s) eat away at you that you don't have? I hope these are things you had a chance to think about as you read this blog post. Thank you for reading!

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Sharing Problems

I thought about something a loyal reader said about me in my "Not Good Enough" blog post. This person respected me because I discussed failing in life. Many people find this is as a way to laugh at our problems. However, if we have experienced these things that actually bring us down, then it's nothing to laugh about. Sometimes, I feel like sharing problems helps us to have prayers answered. At least you have someone who is listening and may actually have interest in answering your failures with encouraging words. This blog post involves actually sharing issues and what it does for you to share your issues with others.

--- Sharing Problems ---

If this were YouTube, only people who have hearts would offer kind words while everybody else use racial/gay/sexist slurs and laugh at you. People just don't realize that we all have issues in our lives. Being laughed at and disregarded does NOTHING to help us feel better. All of us have some sort of issue or issues that we wish would be resolved.

What you're about to read in this next section is personal insight.

Sharing Problems: My School/College Influences.

Back in my school and college days, I sometimes found myself going to the Counselor's Office or talking with counselors because I wasn't feeling "right" at school. It wasn't that I lacked friends I could trust, but I felt like I needed guidance from older and wiser people. So when I wasn't feeling strong enough to go through the day any longer, I felt like I had to visit a counselor to feel better.

There would be times when I would go to the counselor. Sometimes, my experiences would just bring me to tears. I even found myself crying hard trying to compose myself in my weakest times while talking with a counselor. I should be happy in those times because I am in a happier place than being by my lonesome struggling in school and in life. These counselors, then, were like my doctors who help to make me feel better. There's one bit of advice from me to all of you students- take advantage of what is given to you! People want to see your succeed, but you have to work with people and take advantage of what is given to you to help you do your best.

I always tried to look for certain friends of mine who cared about me when I was away from counselors. Some peers were so trusting that I felt like I could share my problems and look for their guidance to help me feel better. You're going to have friends who have love for what you do. Some peers you encounter really care about you and want the best for you, as if they are an extension of your family. They aren't members of your family, but they are LIKE family. Cherish those whom you think are like family or angels to you.

Admitting and Sharing Problems.

There are people out there who talk about being real, and most of the time, people confuse real (as in toughness) with real (as in honest). People who are real, in the minds of many, are those who are seemingly impervious to problems and fear. You know, bad asses (pardon my language) and rock stars. I consider myself real as in... real. Never do I consider myself any kind of tough person. I know my own strengths and weaknesses. I have nothing to brag about that makes me "cool." You are talking about a fellow is old-fashioned and with class.

I think we better understand people when we realize what issues they may have. It means we can find ways to work with those people so we can help make their lives better. Certain blogs exhibit certain people with certain lifestyles. They have their own issues even if their issues aren't anything that is any call to action. For example, I follow certain petite fashion blogs because they are four beautiful ladies. Most petite fashion blogs are somewhat on a similar issue- finding great clothes for petite women. I also follow plus size fashion blogs. Again- the issue of finding great plus size fashions is prevalent with some of the beautiful plus size fashion bloggers I follow.

What I am getting at with all of this is that it is okay to share problems or issues. Does it make us weak because we have problems and admit to them? No. It just means that we're real and that we are not bulletproof. When an emotionally hurt person cries, he/she is weak and can not stand for himself/herself at that given moment. I am always a believer that we share our issues with others in hopes to have them heard, addressed, and potentially resolved. People who share their problems with others have a better chance of feeling better from them than people who hold in their problems and don't ask for help. You end up agitating yourself and don't get your problems solved. Also, you may run the risk of making your problems/issues worse by not sharing your problems with others.

That's why I am not afraid to share my problems online. It isn't because I trust someone will help me with my problems, but it is because someone may have the same problems that I do. The issues I bring up are real and may be a similar problem someone else may have. Having a common issue unites us and gives us the power to hopefully find a way to resolve the problems we have together.

--- Creative Motivation to Share Problems and Help Others ---

If there is something that encourages me to try to help others, it is the feeling that I wish I could right the wrongs of the world and help people with their issues. A strange parallel between solving problems and helping others is with one video game. The very first "Okami" for the PlayStation 2 was basically about you playing as the wolf ("okami" is Japanese for wolf) named Amaterasu, which I learned is the Shinto Sun goddess. Amaterasu, however, is genderless in "Okami." Anyhow, Amaterasu runs across Nihon to convert wasteland back to its original beauty. This is a video game representation of me wanting to help other people and make life better for others. Here is a video for entertainment purposes:


In case you're wondering, I was considering reviewing "Okami." So you may see a post on JBS in the future on this game. The main point of this section was to demonstrate wanting to make times better for other people, and I chose to do so with a creative example. Hope this proves the point.





Don't be afraid to share your problems and your issues. It helps you tell people of problems and issues rather than just hold them in and letting things fester and snowball. I'm not afraid to share my issues in my blog posts. Having trusting and respectful people help you out always helps and always means a great deal. You aren't weak just because you share certain problems, because we all have them. We better understand people when we know about not only strengths and likes, but weaknesses and dislikes. It helps us to better understand people so we can be the best for the people we know and love. That's all I'm saying here. Feel free to comment however you please. Thank you for reading!

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Facebook's 5,000 Friend Limit

In recent years, Facebook has fully overtaken Myspace in popularity. Facebook tends to better connect you with people and share interests accordingly. I personally still consider Myspace home because I can express myself a bit more. Facebook is much simpler and more fun (as well as much faster than the aging Myspace). While Facebook can be great to be on (I'm having better days and times on Facebook the past few years), one annoyance is that you can only have 5,000 friends. So if you want to add more, you'll need to have a Fan Page or a Group or something. By the way... I've been on Facebook since about 2007 or so.

What do you think about the 5K Facebook friend limit? I'll share my ideas in this post.

About the Label:

The new "Social Networking" label pertains to issues regarding social networking and all of the related issues involving social networking.

--- Facebook's 5,000 Friend Limit ---

As you know, I have to prove points by setting things up. So this is where I set up the whole story to prove my points. You know I have to offer more than just the main topic. Having said this, it's time to get this one started.

The Problem(s) With Facebook.

Facebook is an excellent social networking medium. I feel I have a better connection with friends and fans than I ever have on Myspace. Becoming a Fan (I still hate "Like" replacing "Become a Fan") of things is always great. You can comment on photo albums. If you still enjoy the content but don't have anything to really say, you can always issue a "Like" to material. Facebook is a great service.

Having said all of this, though... my problem with Facebook is that it's too personal. I felt happy just casually connecting with things on Myspace. I do have my good friends and all. Only problem is, Facebook is too personal with everything. It tells you to want to search for more friends. There are people whom I want to try to connect with, and no one wants to connect with me. Maybe I am so used to casual connections on Myspace that Facebook seems a bit out of my league at times.

Fallacies of Social Networking.

One of the fallacies of social networking is that your attempts to try to connect with others online... ends up DAMAGING your relationships with others. I always feel like if we can be friends away from cyberspace, we can be friends ON cyberspace. Some people, though, just don't want to connect with me online regardless of my best efforts. Some don't want to stay connected. I mean... I really feel like I can LOSE friends while trying to meet new friends. In fact, I feel like I've permanently damaged the bond I think I have with certain people by trying to connect online with them, and those effects have/could affected me in trying to connect with them in the real world. Imagine trying to say hello to someone, and they don't even recognize your presence or want to talk with you despite your best efforts. Social networking can be a great deterrent to whatever bond(s) you think you have with people. What can keep you connect can actually DISCONNECT you. Sad, huh?

Another part of social networking is that people often get rid of certain friends who just feel they are only connected certain people just to look cool. Like, "I'm so cool because I have (someone) in my Friend List!" I try to regularly connect and contact people to show I still care. That's either through Wall posts or picture comments. I try to stay connected. Sometimes, though, I still get dumped. So I don't really know what to think often times.

The 5K Friend Limit Itself.

The main point of this post is about the 5K friend limit, so let me get back to that. The limit is realistic- no one person could have, know, and admire 5K people. All of us even have a circle of friends that we know better than everyone else. Depending on who you ask, there are people accepting of meeting people they've never met in person or those who only want to meet people they actually KNOW. Some profiles may consider you a spammer if you try to meet with someone you don't personally know. The thing is... some people are willing to meet more people (including those they've never personally met), and some others only want to meet people they know and trust. That's why I sometimes try NOT to request new people as friends because I'm scared I won't be accepted in trying to be with people on Facebook. Even people whom I think are accepting of my presence on Facebook are those who I feel don't want to actually connect with me as a Facebook friend.

I've used Facebook to connect with friends and reconnect with old friends. It used to be that I only want to be with friends of mine while meeting new people the world over. I even try to connect with old classmates whom I recall. These days, family want to connect with me in addition to meeting other people.

Continually adding new people just adds up the friend count. Thing is, I chose to want to meet more new people. As long as people aren't spammers or any dating-oriented stuff, I am all in for meeting new people. I already have a Facebook fan page (that not many people want to show their support for), so it isn't like I have problems trying to connect with much more than 5,000 Facebook people. And since I'm often times not good enough, I only get so many fans. :(

--- Is the 5K Friend Limit Justified? ---

No one person can ever have 5,000 people to be regarded as friends. Facebook is just too personal to me. No one wants to casually add people. Or maybe I'm so used to Myspace that Facebook seems very foreign to me though I've been on Facebook for nearly four years. I guess the mindset on Facebook is that if you're going to add lots of people on Facebook, you're better off doing so as a fan page rather than have thousands of people tap into your personal material.

I am not saying that I agree with the 5K friend limit, but I understand the 5K friend limit. Facebook can be too personal. In fact, part of Facebook's appeal is in trying to connect with real people and stay connected. It's about sharing things you like with others and in having fun all the while. There is also the issue of people who simply connect with others just to have the honor of saying you have certain people as friends. There are those with 5K or so friends who simply drop certain people just because they don't seriously think they are real friends/supporters of the people they are connected with.

I can agree with people who feel like having a cap of 5K friends is unwarranted. I actually feel sad when I lose friends (who doesn't?). I would probably want to be friends with everybody on Facebook if I could (except haters/spammers). Like I said earlier- the 5K cap is understandable, but I don't necessarily agree with it. Facebook is too personal to be

--- Special Request! :) ---

You may look in the sidebar to this blog to connect with me if you want to be Facebook friends with me and/or are a fan of my work and have Facebook. I invite my Myspace friends and even YouTube friends to connect with me on Facebook because I rarely use Myspace anymore. Don't be afraid to show some love! :) Just remember- no spammers. No haters. Even if you do accept my work, I still police my content on Facebook as much as I do on YouTube. Here's how to get social with me on Facebook (you can also find this in the sidebar of this blog):

Do you want to be friends with me? If so, click on the badge below!

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Just sayin'...





Anyhow, how do you feel about the 5K friend limit on Facebook? What about any of the other issues I mentioned involving social networking in general? I honestly need more people commenting on and sharing my work. Got something to say [that is relevant to this blog post]? Comment! Please? Thank you for reading!

Become a Fan (or Like) my Facebook Fan Page and subscribe this blog (and my others) via FeedBurner (or any other aggregator in the sidebar)! Visit (or subscribe):
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• Subscribe to John's Shop Space! (http://jbmshopspace.blogspot.com)
• Subscribe to John's Gran Turismo Space! (http://johnsgtspace.blogspot.com)